The Dinner Table

So Destiny has been bogged down with trying to prep Christmas before heading to the West Coast to see me.  She has fallen a bit behind on our 12 Days, but no worries, she will catch up.  For now, here is my Day 4.

Today’s challenge was “On the table.”  We tasked each other to write something about Christmas dinner.  Take a gander and chew on how we each interpreted the challenge.


‘Twas the day of Christmas
When an hour before dinner
Aromas were swirling
No fantasies of getting thinner

The Vera Wang china all pristine on the table
To keep up appearances we weren’t raised in a stable
The children both playing with their new Christmas toys
While sharing and laughing in excitement and joy

And hubby in his apron, and I in mine too
Have been slaving in the kitchen for an hour or two
Filet almost done after bathing for 3 hours
Casseroles made and my face covered in flour

Over to the oven, I run in a hurry
To rescue the rolls from a flaming fury
The mashed potatoes golden with melted butter
Tempt my senses as I resist with a flutter

When I look up, the hubby is swigging a beer
And toasting his efforts with holiday cheer
Seeing such pride and feeling such verve
I know that our dinner must be ready to serve

More rapid than wolves my children they came
And I calmed and corrected them both by name
Colette and William it’s time you settle down
Lest you want to start dinner with a sad mommy frown

To the bathroom, wash hands!
Then sit nicely in your chairs!
Now bow your heads, fold your hands, and say Christmas prayers!

With a blessing and gratitude and end with Amen,
Our small family gathering was free to dig in
But before our mouths were too full of christmas delights
We exclaimed in unison
“Merry Christmas to all and Bon Apetit tonight!”


Our Letters to Santa

Dear Santa,

Jolly Old Saint Nicholas, lean your ear this way.  If you are really coming to town, and you’re checking your list. Before you head right down Santa Claus Lane, I have a few things to ask of you.  I’m not going to do the whole world peace type of thing, because A) I think that is impossible in our fallen world and B) I have no delusions that you are in charge of anything of the sort.  I know there is a different “big man” in charge of that type of thing, and He has made it clear when and how our world will be redeemed. But if for some reason that “big man” has ordained you as the granter of wishes, I am sending you a few of my little desires.  I am programmed to ask for three things but to only expect one, so here is my list for this year:

  1. A full night’s sleep with no waking until morning. PLEASE!  I have had one of those in 4+ years, so if you could somehow manage arranging my children sleeping through the night, my dogs not whining, my husband not snoring, and me not having to pee all in the same night, that would rock my world!  And look, I’m only asking for one night.  I won’t ask for another one for another 4 years if that’s what it takes.  But dude, I could really use the sleep!
  2. Someone to buy our house in Atlanta at a reasonable price.  I mean you could probably kill two birds with one stone on this one.  I’m sure you’ve got someone asking for a home in Atlanta, maybe even Dunwoody specifically.  It’s a great home, especially for a young couple.  It has tons of potential, too.  Check it out on redfin and see if it fits the bill for anyone else on the nice list.  I’m not sure I want anyone on the naughty list getting that house, because he or she’d just bulldoze it.  And I don’t want any of this perfect timing stuff, I want it for Christmas (or at least the New Year).  I’m not giving you credit if it happens after 1/1/2015.
  3. A friend or family member to move to the South Bay of LA. Now, I’m not going to be picky here.  I do have preferences and maybe a little bit of an order of preferences.  Ideally, we’d like our best friends and godparents of our kids out here, Jen and Justin.  I mean, we’ve been working on them for 3 years, so we’ve laid some groundwork for you.  However, if they aren’t willing to budge, then we will welcome anyone else (wink, wink you know who I don’t want) with open arms.

So, Mr. Santa Claus, there you have it: my list.  You’ve got 12 Days. Let’s see your magic! Love, Lacey

Destiny and Lacey Santa

Dear Santa:

As I sit down to compose my 2014 letter to you, I wonder why I haven’t thought to do so in years past. I also find myself feeling incredibly greedy, as this has been a year of granted wishes. In spite of a pretty horrific start to the year, Christmas came early on July 30 when the man of my dreams entered my life. From then on, 2014 has been one big amusement park ride of excitement and thrills. From road trips to buying my own home, I have been walking the yellow brick road of good fortune.

With 2015 on the horizon and the Emerald City within my sights, I wonder if I should even have the gall to ask for more….after all, isn’t a book deal within my own reach if I should simply submit? And I’m within 18 months of paying off my home and car, each of which will put me in a different plane of financial peace. It doesn’t seem right to ask for more…However, if I harken my younger days when I sat on your lap and wished for the stars in spite of my already bountiful blessings, I can think of a few things to add to my wish list…Below are a handful of Christmas wishes.

  1. Might as well get the big one out of the way…I had so much fun buying Christmas presents this year, I’d love a bigger budget to continue to shop for friends, family, and those on the Angel Tree who are in need. I promise I would shop wisely and use my funds to spread the magic and love of the Christmas season.
  2. I had the wonderful fortune to reconnect with a dear friend this past year and surprise him with a trip that was one for the memory books. I know it’s a bit nebulous of a request, but more moments like this would be much appreciated. And if that’s too vague, then maybe you could just whisper in McCartney’s ear that he’d really like to visit the Queen City in 2015?
  3. The granting of my final wish would be a bit bittersweet, however if you could help Red Wanting Blue reach more people with some mainstream radio play, that would be awesome. But please, not before I get a chance to bend Scott Terry’s ear about a super-secret surprise for my aforementioned friend!

I know I’ll think of more self-serving wishes in, say, March, when I think “Doh! I really wish I would’ve bought that vintage avocado Tupperware canister set I saw on ebay in December…” but right now I’ll leave you with these three. Happy Christmas, Santa, from one not-so-little girl who still believes in your magic, no matter when in the year you decide to sprinkle it.



Please enjoy in the spirit it was written…

When discussing a possible Thanksgiving blog topic with my sister, she said, “Save the touchy feely stuff for your own blog. Be ungrateful on crossingthestreams.” As someone who is keenly aware of how good begets good, I was hesitant to unleash such negativity into the Universe, but then the humor in the exercise struck me. Sure, why not be snarky on the one day of the year you are supposed to be filled with gratitude? I am grateful for the tiniest things throughout the year, so how perfectly appropriate to flip that on its ass on Thanksgiving and be ungrateful. What follows is my list of 5 Ingratitudes. Now I just pray I have enough time to write my touchy-feely blog before karma bites me.  Ungrateful

5 Ingratitudes

  1. I am ungrateful for the fact that they added a stupid “Anonymous GM” via computer to Monday Night Raw thereby undermining the whole return of Daniel Bryan.
  1. I am ungrateful for the fact that I remember numbers really well…which means I am constantly reminded of exes’ birthdays and all of their relative’s birthdays as well. Not to mention anniversaries. Blah.
  1. I am ungrateful for the nausea that racked my body last night, thereby nearly sending me into a panic attack that I wouldn’t be able to make it to Thanksgiving dinner at Adam’s family’s where I’m being introduced to siblings and nieces/nephews galore.
  1. I am ungrateful for the packaging insert in my medicine that states, “slight weight gain” possible. As I have gained almost 100 pounds in 4 years, I believe that is a “slight” understatement.
  1. I am ungrateful for bitter coffee. When trying to pinch pennies and purchasing a certain yellow and black brand of coffee that couldn’t be that different from our regular national coffee shop brand, I realized that it’s worth the extra couple of bucks to get down with Dunkin’.

However you celebrate the holiday today, tofurkey or a grand bird, surrounded by family or at the counter in a diner, abroad with newfound friends or in America’s heartland, I wish you a moment of ingratitude so that those things for which you are grateful become abundantly clear.

Here I am, Miss Snark.  Sometimes it’s nice to be an open book and tell it how it is.  I am not thankful for everything.  Some things in this world don’t jive with me.  Here are 5 of those things:

1.Chewing or Swallowing Loudly.  You know those things that make you shudder in frustration or annoyance?  Well, for me, it’s when I can hear people making noises with their mouths, specifically while chewing or swallowing.  Chomp Chomp, smack smack = shivers down my spine.  You think, “Oh yeah, that’s annoying.”  Sure, some of you may be able to empathize in your own suffering with misophonia, but let me just explain exactly what the sound of even a closed chewing mouth yet hearing the clicking of a jaw or food being switched from one side to the other does to me.  I actually have to distract myself by digging my nail into my hand.  Nothing like the distraction of pain. I’m thankful for distraction.

2.Racism.  Topical, yes.  But it is here, still. In our country.  More widespread than many want to admit. And it’s disturbing.  Yes, I get the fear of “the other.”  It’s a natural instinct to be wary of that which is different than ourselves.  We want to protect what it is ours and what we believe to be true.  We don’t want our identity to be threatened.  But listen, in the era we live in, the world of global communication and connection, there is no room for devaluing someone because he/she looks different.  Period.

3.Ridiculously High Airfares.  I want to be able to see my family and friends.  $500-$600 roundtrip airfares sure put a wrench in that.  I want my kids to spend time with their grandparents and godparents, and a mortgage payment for all of us to go get hugs, renewal, and fellowship from our blood and dearest makes that incredibly difficult.  Screw you airfare!

4.Snakes  Just no.  They are creepy and gross. I don’t like talking about them, imagining them, seeing pictures of them, or seeing them in person.  You will not catch me in that damn reptile house at the zoo. That’s for sure!

5.Medical Questions on Mommy Boards.  No I don’t want to look at a picture of your child’s poopy diaper and tell you why it’s green or seedy or runny.  No I don’t know if that rash is from eczema or poison ivy or a bug bite.  No I’m not going to advise you on the best treatment options for your sick child.  Did you know there are these things called professionals? Doctors. AND you can call them and ask questions.  Ok, so you prefer natural remedies? Then find a homeopath.  But don’t list your child’s symptoms or freaking post a picture of their nasty snot, poop, or rash. Please just call a professional.  Mommies may have experience, but they are in no place to be risking the liability in diagnosing your illnesses!

Yeah, so, NBD, right?  Well, except #2.  The rest are basically First World Problems, and guess what, here I am living in the First World, and these are my problems. In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I am grateful that these little annoyances are my ingratitudes.  Thank God I’m not dealing with starvation, freezing to death, smallpox, or hostile visitors!

In the Blink of an Eye

In the blink of an eye…

  1. You go from hugging your Granddaddy goodbye and telling him to stay healthy until Thanksgiving when he’ll meet his namesake…

    To praying that his entry into the Kingdom would be as peaceful and comfortable as possible. That he would send kisses from Heaven to that little boy trying to bust out of your womb too early.

  2. You go from being thankful that your bedrest buddy is not in an “emergency situation yet”…

    To praying for her safety and strength as she is contracting 2minutes apart. And praying for the new reality of being released from bedrest but having a preemie in the NICU and 3 older kids at home.

  3. You go from returning home from a last trip to see friends and family before your newest addition arrives in 6weeks…

    To spending 2 days in the hospital to being released on bedrest.

  4. You go from the daily grind of trying to keep up with your 2.5 year old while you are 32 weeks pregnant…

    To having to watch your husband and daughter take on the grind by themselves.

  5. You go from protecting and prioritizing your 2.5 year old daughter because she doesn’t have the miraculous womb nourishing her and protecting her anymore…

    To prioritizing and protecting your 33week son in utero because your uterus is angry and trying to evict him too early.

  6. You go from twirling with your little princess…

    To sending her off on play dates or to the park with a new babysitter so that you can lay in bed trying to stave off contractions.

  7. You go from deferring to your sister as the master of wit and writing…

    To finding your own voice while co-blogging with her.

  8. You go from thinking you know what’s next…

    To realizing you have no idea. All the while knowing that God is loving and holding you through it all.